Perfectly Imperfect
Those freckles on Anna! ❤️
As a young girl, I longed to have skin that was free of the freckles generously sprinkled all over my body. Oh, how I wish I could have the wisdom of my current self, loving nature’s beautiful imperfections, or so we’ve been taught through society, that they are imperfections. Watching young women who embrace and love themselves as they are, perfectly imperfect, brings me joy. In reality, the comments I hear from the dressing rooms are, more often than not, critical of every little perceived flaw our inner selves despise, from women of all ages. 🙋♀️ I’m guilty of the harshness of these hurtful inner conversations.
A source of self-healing, and ending the cycle, is to be mindful when meeting littles. When I encounter our youth, I try to avoid commenting on their appearance, or use the words “pretty” and “cute”. This is hard! When I see a baby, toddler or little girl, they are so stinking adorable. Every. Single. One. Their little personalities are developing. It’s so important we talk to these babies about kindness, love and acceptance, balancing comments about their outer beauty.
Teens... Our young women live in a Kardashian society. Talking to them as equals, asking about what matters: these conversations are so very important.
One of the girls in our store wrote beautifully about the pain of teenage years. There was a specific memory that hit me personally. “I was a weird kid...Eating lunch in a bathroom stall the first day of high school.” This was a perfect description of how it felt to be a teen. So many of us still carry the shame of not feeling good enough. I’ve seen the sheepish grins from young girls, when I take time out to really SEE them, ask and listen. To act as an equal human, rather than an elder, is the greatest cure for the self-talk from the inner mean-girl.
Our society is having a dialogue about women supporting women. I don’t view this as a “women are better than men” conversation. It is a conversation of empathy, understanding and kindness. I’ve been there, I understand how you feel, and I support you. It’s akin to the moment when a new friendship begins: “Holy crap! You are speaking my language!”
One of my favorite games with all of my nieces and nephews was “Who loves you?” We would make a list, and when all the obvious were named, challenge them to add more: your teacher, the fireman, friends, animals... Let’s talk to our youth, and each other, about the kindness a smile brings, the love that surrounds us, and help us be aware of the love given and received.
xo Rita
As a young girl, I longed to have skin that was free of the freckles generously sprinkled all over my body. Oh, how I wish I could have the wisdom of my current self, loving nature’s beautiful imperfections, or so we’ve been taught through society, that they are imperfections. Watching young women who embrace and love themselves as they are, perfectly imperfect, brings me joy. In reality, the comments I hear from the dressing rooms are, more often than not, critical of every little perceived flaw our inner selves despise, from women of all ages. 🙋♀️ I’m guilty of the harshness of these hurtful inner conversations.
A source of self-healing, and ending the cycle, is to be mindful when meeting littles. When I encounter our youth, I try to avoid commenting on their appearance, or use the words “pretty” and “cute”. This is hard! When I see a baby, toddler or little girl, they are so stinking adorable. Every. Single. One. Their little personalities are developing. It’s so important we talk to these babies about kindness, love and acceptance, balancing comments about their outer beauty.
Teens... Our young women live in a Kardashian society. Talking to them as equals, asking about what matters: these conversations are so very important.
One of the girls in our store wrote beautifully about the pain of teenage years. There was a specific memory that hit me personally. “I was a weird kid...Eating lunch in a bathroom stall the first day of high school.” This was a perfect description of how it felt to be a teen. So many of us still carry the shame of not feeling good enough. I’ve seen the sheepish grins from young girls, when I take time out to really SEE them, ask and listen. To act as an equal human, rather than an elder, is the greatest cure for the self-talk from the inner mean-girl.
Our society is having a dialogue about women supporting women. I don’t view this as a “women are better than men” conversation. It is a conversation of empathy, understanding and kindness. I’ve been there, I understand how you feel, and I support you. It’s akin to the moment when a new friendship begins: “Holy crap! You are speaking my language!”
One of my favorite games with all of my nieces and nephews was “Who loves you?” We would make a list, and when all the obvious were named, challenge them to add more: your teacher, the fireman, friends, animals... Let’s talk to our youth, and each other, about the kindness a smile brings, the love that surrounds us, and help us be aware of the love given and received.
xo Rita